This morning Iām reminded of a quote from the movie Ladies in Lavender: āGrowing old is a gradual surrender.ā
As I write, my husband, Stan, and I are spending time on the Oregon coast. Today we walked out to the north side of the cape at Kiwanda. Itās been many years since weāve been here. This section of the cape is shrinking, growing smaller with each storm. The winds, the rain, and the surf smash against it, breaking it down, taking away the topsoil along with trees and underbrush. Sandstone breaks off in chunksāsometimes huge chunksāas the cape gradually gives way, surrendering to the forces of nature.
Growing old is a gradual surrender. Each storm in my life has broken away a part of me. I struggle for control, but itās being chipped away bit by bit. Though I resist and try to hold on, Iām gradually forced to let go. I feel the hurt and rawness that the breaking process produces. I cry out to God. I complain. I beg for it to go away and leave me alone. I fear for the future. Whatās next? Can I bear more?
āYes,ā Godās Word gently reminds me. āYes, with me you can bear more. I wonāt let you be tested beyond what you can bear. Remember? I said I would make a way of escape for you. Believe me, I have.ā
Jesus says, āCome to me, cast your burden on me. I will give you a peaceful, restful place at my side. I will pull the weight of your load with youā (1 Cor. 10:13, Matt. 11:28). āSurrender. Surrender to me. Itās easier than fighting. Itās easier than trying to hold it all together.ā
At other times Iāve heard God saying, āSurrender the memories of the past that haunt youā (Jer. 31:33). āMake friends with them. Iām already using them for good in your life and in the lives of others.
āSurrender your time. Donāt pack so much into the hours, days, and weeks that you donāt give yourself permission to relax and enjoy the moment. Rest. Spend time with meā (Mark 6:31).
āSurrender your worthless treasures. Donāt cry when they break, become lost, or just donāt fit anymore. I have other treasures much more precious waiting for youā (Matt. 6:19-21).
Yes, growing old is a gradual surrender. Have you ever looked at your naked self in a three-way mirror? One day I did. I was horrified by the effects of time and gravityāthe lines, the creases, the drooping skin, the age spots.
To me it looked grotesque, yet alone in that dressing room I found myself laughing. Cellulite, veins, foldsāthere they were, the surrender of my body to the aging process. I could exercise, I could diet, I could use creams and rejuvenating products, but to no avail. The involuntary surrender will, and must, continue.
Does surrender ever come easily? No, not for me. But I know that in all areas of my life I must surrender to Godās timetable and in those moments of surrender find his peace, joy, humility, and contentment. God says, āI am with you. I love you. You are my joy, my delight. You are beautiful. Donāt resist. Walk with me. Surrender.ā
About the Author
Evelyn Vander Veen is a retired preschool teacher and a member of Oak Hills CRC in Beaverton, Ore.