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A husband asked his wife how she thought he’d look in a beard.
“Lonely,” she replied.

—George Vander Weit

AMississippi State Trooper pulled over a pickup on I-40, went up to the vehicle’s window, and asked the driver,
“Do you have any ID?”
The driver answered, “ ’Bout whut?”

—George Vander Weit

On a sunny summer day, my 4-year-old granddaughter and I were quietly watching the many birds feasting at our feeders. Since many were finches, I explained that the brilliant yellow ones were “boy” finches, while the less colorful ones were “girl” finches. She seemed fascinated by the birds and continued to watch in silence. When a much larger bird with a rounded breast flew in and settled on the ground just below the feeders, she whispered, “Grandma, look at that one with its big tummy.” I explained, “That’s a mourning dove.” She added, “It must be a Grandpa bird.”

—Joyce Jansen

Recently our 4-year-old granddaughter, who was adopted from China 18 months ago, was going to be in the hospital for some testing for possible heart surgery. The night before, her parents explained to her what the doctor would be doing: “He’ll take a tiny little wire and run it through your vein into your heart, so he can look inside and see what has to be done—but it’s not going to hurt you at all.”
Immediately she asked, “But will doctor hurt Jesus in my heart?”

—Harry and Judy Dekker

Many months ago my 3-year-old, Morgan, heard some children misuse God’s name and started doing the same. Since it was confusing to her when to properly use God’s name, we forbade her from using God’s name until she got older. Forgetting that I had disallowed Morgan to say God’s name, I was reading a Bible story book to her when the book prompted me to ask her, “Do you love God?”
Without missing a beat, Morgan said, “Well, I’m not allowed to say THAT
word, but I love Jesus.”

—Emily Dykstra

My great-grandchildren were visiting me. Madison was 7 and Joseph, 5. We were sitting in my living room, talking about the different things I have in my house. I have a doll collection, and Joey asked, “Grandma, what are you going to do with your dolls when you die?” I told him I would give the ones I received as gifts back to the people who gave them to me, and the others would be sold or given away.

“I think you should sell them,” he said. I was thinking about that when he continued, “If you sell them, you could buy a big box.” He stretched his arms out as far as he could. “You know, when you die they put you in a big box—then you would have one!”

—Elva Post

Something to think about: How come we choose from just two people to run for president and from more than 50 for Miss America?

I was staying in the home of my son and his family while visiting them. I had shampooed and showered and was reaching for the hair dryer when my 3-year-old granddaughter said to me with empathy, “Don’t worry, Grandma, when your hair is dry it will be gray again.”

—Marion Sandfort

The 4-year-old was delighted with the new pink purse that she had cajoled her father to purchase. They were walking into a restaurant for dinner when she announced to all the grownups with her, “Adults may not pay for dinner tonight. I’m buying.” When the check came, the diners indicated to the waitress that it should be given to Lauren. Lauren carefully took a quarter from her new purse, put it in the credit card slot, handed it to the waitress, and said, “I’ll need change, please.”

—Marion Sandfort